An abomination in a pull-up

It was a cold, gray, dreary morning. I was on little sleep, and the scalding cup of coffee I barely managed to get down before I arrived had yet to kick in. Still, I did my best to entertain my sister's twins. It was going fine; I was just checking out the rug burns on my knees from crawling on carpet faster than anyone my age has any right to...when it happened. Twenty four years, five and two thirds months. My time on this earth when it all came crashing down. When everything I knew, everything I'd felt, the sum total of my very being ended. When my niece Hannah gleefully waddled her little cheeks over and shouted "Change me, Jonny!"

Shit.

No seriously, that's what I was dealing with here. I knew it was coming. After chasing both of the toddlers around their playroom and letting them tackle me me for what seemed like forever...I guess she worked something loose. When we went back downstairs to watch Lilo and Stitch (again,) Hannah made her way over into the corner of my sister's front room and demanded I leave her alone. I've never had kids, don't really want kids, but I knew what was happening. I tried my damndest to coax her out of the corner, maybe she could pinch it off and wait till mommy came home...no luck. Instead she insisted, with tears in her eyes, that I leave her alone. When I asked if she wanted a magazine she gave me a look that would turn most people to stone. Ok...no magazine.

So a few minutes after she's done her business, she waddles in to the kitchen and declares she's ready to be changed. I contemplated, at least for a few seconds, letting the little tyke deal with it until her mom and dad got home. A quick check of the clock, though, shot that idea down. I can be mean, but not mean enough to let her sit in her own turd for another two hours. So I bit my lip, picked her up, and held her out at arms length as I took her upstairs to the changing..uh, place. I have to say I was somewhat weirded out by being walked through the diaper changing process by the one whose diaper I was changing, but looking back I think it was probably easier that way. It wasn't messy, there was no crying involved, and she even had herself half wiped by the time I got back from tossing the diaper. My first diaper change ever was a pretty painless process, I'd have to say.

But I'm never doing it again!

(Obligatory cell-phone pic of when I had to get their costumes out for them)